Continent or incontinent ? That is the question…..
After I had the menopause, (very early in my case at 42) I had the most agonisingly damp knicker time! As soon anyone cracked a really good joke I lost all control. Coughing was a nightmare and sneezing even worse as it creeps up on you unawares and you don’t even have time to cross your legs!
Finally thoroughly fed up with damp knicker syndrome and terrified I might be smelly, I traipsed off to see my Gynaecologist in Harley Street who is the smoothest talking charmer you could meet! I honestly don’t mind paying him as he makes me feel so good about myself…talk about bedside manner, you wish he would climb in with you!
My smooth talking Gynaecological charmer, who shall be nameless due to medical etiquette, prescribed a three month course of vaginal and bladder exercise at the London Clinic. The treatment looked and sounded nothing short of torture: I was connected up to the electrical supply, (I seriously wondered whether I would light up when switched on) and a very nice, starchy nurse inserted a hairdryer sort of instrument into me. She left me with a huge pile of Country Life, and other posh, magazines and turned up the speed every five minutes. The effect was not actually painful as it felt like a deep massage but not a bit sexy I am sorry to report. It was the noise that scared me as each time it went up a notch it sounded like a 380 airbus starting up, which I have to say was alarming.
Three months later, and a great deal poorer, I gave up my twice weekly treatments. Why ? They didn’t change the magazines and I have better things to do in my afternoons.
Next I tried Pilates, with a trainer who was specifically asked to concentrate on the bits in question and I have to say after three months I was in better shape both internally and externally, in fact my core is so strong now Ican sneeze with out mishap, but it took eight years of Pilates to get to that stage.
The good news is things have changed, no longer do you need to have instruments of torture, or take out a mortgage for your treatment as I did 25 years ago. The answer my friends is BOTOX!
Botox is definitely the orofice sizzler, the Buzz word, The IN thing! Plus you only need one session a year!
I will not go into the details, as I am no medico, but what I can say is DON’T SUFFER INCONTINENCE ANY MORE – there is a cure.
Ask your GP about it, you might…… might ….. even be able to get the treatment on the NHS! Does it hurt I can hear you saying but apparently not… just a pinprick and a vague sensation like a bee sting.
No longer will you have to lie to your grandchildren and tell them those funny little pads in your handbag are dolly’s mattresses! No longer do you need to cross your legs or carry paper knickers in your handbag…….It is there for the asking!