This article was written for Annabel & Grace, which is now part of Rest Less.
So Christmas has been and gone and I have survived and come out the other side – albeit only just. To be fair the whole of December passed in a bit of a blur with an off/on cough and cold and feeling under the weather; by Christmas Eve I was feeling particularly rough. I got through Christmas Day and Boxing Day, but by the evening of the 26th my nose was dripping and it felt as though someone had thrown a medicine ball between my shoulder blades such were my aches! I retired early and consoled myself with warm egg nog laced with copious amounts of brandy – well, it was still Christmas.
I am lucky to have had ‘festivities’ at all. BF joined me on Christmas Eve bringing champagne and a takeaway – she knew I was on my own and would wake alone on Christmas morning. EH (ex husband) had already made plans for Christmas months ago and they did not include me. Nor did he consult me – ignoramus that he is because that put our boys in the excruciating position of having to choose. We had an almighty row about it and I insisted both sons go with him and his Fluff to my sister in law’s to play happy families. However both my sons come to see me late morning and one stays – the older one, the kind compassionate and sensitive one. Despite my protestations that I would be fine, he knew that unless he stayed I would have spent Christmas Day alone.
So I cooked the whole works just for the two of us. He changed pretty damn quickly into his onesie and we slobbed on the sofa drinking champagne together. He ate his own body weight in chocolate and we watched TV – it was bliss! On Boxing Day my brother and his family arrived along with son number two! We had a massive buffet that was no trouble to prepare and played party games all day and walked the dog in the rain.
After that I decamped to my bed and, I have to say, that over two weeks later I am still here! Obviously I have got out of my pit occasionally but my poor dog has been walked only once or twice and I have dragged myself upstairs to bathe, but scarcely have the strength to lift myself in and out of the bath. Drying my hair has become a waste of time as I don’t have the energy to hold the hairdryer for long enough.
BackPacking Granny and I made a pact after her last blog that if either of us is severely poorly (because we both live alone) we would call on each other if we are in need. However BPG is currently away (backpacking funnily enough). Luckily I had a manicure booked and when I call to cancel, my angel of a beautician asked if I needed anything and did a life saving shop for me – this primarily consisted of dog food (essential) and ingredients to make chicken soup. I made a huge pot and, because I have absolutely no appetite, I am surviving on this soup and copious amounts of Earl Grey. At least I have started my New Year on my own personal detox and, although not what I had intended, I have lost half a stone.
To follow on with a ‘be careful what you wish for’ theme: I so long yearned to be in a relationship and, of course as I have previously written, he was the nightmare from hell, but it gave me an insight into actually sometimes it is great to have your own space. He slept on MY side of the bed (the key word here is slept as there was never any sex involved and we all now know why!) and he sat at MY end of the sofa. And what was most annoying was he had a fascination with news and politics – he fancied himself as an MP – God knows he had enough skeletons in his closet (excuse the pun) to become one! He had Sky news on ALL the time and eventually I would commandeer MY remote back and say actually I would like to watch Modern Family now thank you very much.
Now on my own again, I am so glad for my dog as he has been great company and has slept with me (unusual for him – he normally prefers the floor in the sitting room); but it is as if he knows I am unwell and has hardly left my side. And he doesn’t care which side I sleep on and will lie wherever I leave room. And sleep I do – 20 hours a day sometimes – barely staying awake long enough to eat or drink. I am just about feeling better and staying awake long enough to sometimes watch a film. However I know I now need some company of the outside world. I need to get well and get myself back out there – love is an open door…..? Or shall I just Let it Go….?
Happy New Year!