Sometimes, and I really know absolutely no reason why, I feel down. I have nothing to complain about – indeed, I have a pretty easy life – which makes me feel I am being ungrateful and flattens my mood even more. Luckily these bouts of what I can only assume are very mild depression are rare and temporary. But on a day like today, when I wake up and feel listless and unmotivated, my joie de vivre (and my guardian angel) have definitely gone AWOL.
No matter that life affirming sunshine is streaming through the window and I’ve had a good night’s sleep, from the moment I woke up I feel like I weigh a ton. There is a numb feeling in my tummy and I find myself doing lots of long deep sighs. Nothing seems worthwhile.
Dragging my feet, I go to the bathroom and sullenly look in the mirror. I am mildly disgusted with myself for looking so old, unattractive and tired. If I try to force a smile, I look like one of those ghastly ventriloquist dummies.
Standing motionless in shower, I let the water cascade over me. Finally find the energy to actually wash. Quick sob while sluggishly blowdrying my hair. Am really not looking forward to the rest of the day.
Go to study and switch on computer. Check my Whatsapp messages. Friend is asking if I’m free to go for a beach walk later. Son pops his head around the door and tells me he’s just washed and vacuumed my car. Phone rings and it’s Marvellous-Mother-In-Law, who offers to pop round with some freshly picked veg from her allotment. The post clatters through the front door and it’s not junk mail (well, you have to be grateful for small mercies don’t you). Email from NS&I announces that I have won £25 on my premium bonds. Must have a guardian angel.
Drive to the coast in my very, very clean little car. Inhale some ozone as we walk alongside the glittering sea, and relish the freshest crab sandwich I have ever eaten. Home safely. Lovely long hug from son. Glass of chilled Sauvignon. Supper in front of the TV. Find myself smiling. Am back on track.
Do you believe in guardian angels? Would love to hear from you if you do….
Sometimes in life it does us the world of good to just stop for a moment, settle down with a nice cup of tea (or glass of wine) and take some time out to be inspired or entertained. Our Stories section does just that with short, bite-size reads from Annabel, myself and our wonderful guest contributors. We cover a myriad of subjects from the serious to the downright daft and all are aimed at our marvellously mature audience of ladies over 50.