What a difference a couple of hours (and a guardian angel) make

Sometimes, and I really know absolutely no reason why, I feel down. I have nothing to complain about – indeed, I have a pretty easy life – which makes me feel I am being ungrateful and flattens my mood even more. Luckily these bouts of what I can only assume are very mild depression are rare and temporary. But on a day like today, when I wake up and feel listless and unmotivated, my joie de vivre (and my guardian angel) have definitely gone AWOL.

8am

No matter that life affirming sunshine is streaming through the window and I’ve had a good night’s sleep, from the moment I woke up I feel like I weigh a ton. There is a numb feeling in my tummy and I find myself doing lots of long deep sighs. Nothing seems worthwhile.

Dragging my feet, I go to the bathroom and sullenly look in the mirror. I am mildly disgusted with myself for looking so old, unattractive and tired. If I try to force a smile, I look like one of those ghastly ventriloquist dummies.

Standing motionless in shower, I let the water cascade over me. Finally find the energy to actually wash. Quick sob while sluggishly blowdrying my hair. Am really not looking forward to the rest of the day.

10.05am

Go to study and switch on computer. Check my Whatsapp messages. Friend is asking if I’m free to go for a beach walk later. Son pops his head around the door and tells me he’s just washed and vacuumed my car. Phone rings and it’s Marvellous-Mother-In-Law, who offers to pop round with some freshly picked veg from her allotment. The post clatters through the front door and it’s not junk mail (well, you have to be grateful for small mercies don’t you). Email from NS&I announces that I have won £25 on my premium bonds. Must have a guardian angel.

Drive to the coast in my very, very clean little car. Inhale some ozone as we walk alongside the glittering sea, and relish the freshest crab sandwich I have ever eaten. Home safely. Lovely long hug from son. Glass of chilled Sauvignon. Supper in front of the TV. Find myself smiling. Am back on track.

Do you believe in guardian angels? Would love to hear from you if you do….

Sometimes in life it does us the world of good to just stop for a moment, settle down with a nice cup of tea (or glass of wine) and take some time out to be inspired or entertained. Our Stories section does just that with short, bite-size reads from Annabel, myself and our wonderful guest contributors. We cover a myriad of subjects from the serious to the downright daft and all are aimed at our marvellously mature audience of ladies over 50.

11 Comments

  1. Everyone has 'dark days' but at least all your boys recognised your one and turned it around. You are so good at helping keep others cheerful so you need to call in the troops when you need a bit of boosting up. Love Annabel xx

  2. I would share a glass of Sauvignon or a cuppa any day with you and in five minutes you would join me on my magic carpet and we would be off on an adventure. Remember me from Busybeehazell, the lady with the scarf stories?
    Hazell

  3. I just had my 70th birthday. On my birthday I kept telling myself how lucky I was to be fit, healthy and still here! A lovely day was planned by my family, and I thought I was putting on a brave face and smiling, until I saw the photo’s. It was obvious from my face that I really wanted to cry not smile. Luckily the cloud lifted the next day and life became brighter again. It makes no sense and I am furious that my loved ones had to spend the day with the miserable me.

    • Hi Blu, as someone who has just had her 69th birthday and already dreading her 70th, I know how you feel. But hey, as you so rightly said, we are fit, healthy and still here! And I’m very fond of the phrase: age is just a number! Let’s keep remembering the positives…. best wishes, Grace

  4. LOVE this post. Mirrors exactly how I feel some days. Appreciate how yours has turned around. Like the use of « guardian angel », we all have one in some form or other, glad that your story reminded me.

  5. Felt similar when I got up this morning. Why?? And it was a sunny day, blue sky and dry after days of pouring rain so I’d usually be full of joy. Had a long list of tasks, but after doing the first one I recognised I really was feeling fragile and sad. So decided I’d give myself time off and sit in the sunshine instead. Daft that at 69 I felt a bit guilty about doing that. Feeling a bit better now, so will do it again! And thank you Grace for expressing this so well.

    • Thanks so much for your comment. Sometimes we just have to be kind to ourselves. And sitting in the sunshine obviously did the trick. Am about to go and do that myself with a glass of chilled Sauvignon! Best wishes, Grace

  6. What a lovely story! I sometimes feel a little down as I have not been able to go home and see my family for 3 years now… but have just spoken to my only daughter and after a little chat and the sun has deigned to come out again and chase again the showers, I’m feeling a lot more cheerful.

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