This article was written for Annabel & Grace, which is now part of Rest Less.
He was nice. Friendly, charming and great company – he didn’t set my heart alight but he was nice. Nice is good! We had a fabulous meal (he paid!) and drank good wine – a lot of good wine. Never mind Millionaire Matchmaker who advocates no more than a couple of glasses maximum – I had a couple of glasses before our table was ready! What was disconcerting though was that he was pretty much matching me glass for glass. I live a maximum 10 minute walk away… he lived an hour’s drive away. However, as I said, the company was convivial and we laughed (a good sign).
At the end of the evening he said “Do you want another coffee here or shall we have one at yours?” Now this is always a dilemma for me. Men want to be chivalrous and walk me home but I don’t always want people to know where I live! Anyway, convinced he wasn’t an axe murderer, I agreed to the coffee and we went back to mine. We drank coffee and then he pecked me on the cheek and left.
However in subsequent texts I mentioned in a light casual way that I thought he had drunk rather a lot for someone who was driving (it is a worry to me). His response? “I didn’t think I’d be going home!!!” Honestly? For real? What are these men like? Ok, he bought me dinner (I offered to go Dutch) and he thinks this gets you sex?
I am not alone in this. A dear wise friend who is slightly older than me recently went out for dinner with an old friend of hers. They did theatre and supper and she was staying with him in the city. She was to stay in the spare room, as she had on many previous occasions such is the nature of their relationship. However, while getting ready for bed, he called out to her and she went to see him to find him stretched out naked on the bed! As if this wasn’t shock enough (he is 71 and not the best of physical specimens), he asked her to pleasure him!!! Totally aghast at the prospect, she made her excuses and retired to her room and left as early as possible in the morning!
I am now getting used to life on my own. I have a full and satisfying social diary and an ever-widening circle of friends. Life really is good and although I don’t deny that a partner to share everything with would be nice (and, yes, a cuddle would be fab), it is not the be all and end all. However it seems for many men a quick bonk is all that is on their mind!