I’ve been lucky enough to have a “flop and drop”

I have been lucky enough to recently escape to a week of sunshine in Sharm el Sheikh with BFF (best female friend). It was fabulous – even the day it hit 36 degrees with absolutely no breeze! We made a pact we were not allowed to utter the words “it’s almost too hot isn’t it?” knowing it was a chilly 12 degrees back home. My idea of utter heaven. A “flop and drop” holiday – a phrase we picked up from another guest.

pool-suppliesWe would literally flop by the pool every day and pick up our books! We are both similar like this so it wasn’t as if the other was dying for a conversation. However there was a moment when BFF was getting to a juicy chapter in her novel and I was listening to my iPod and I dropped an ice cube on her back while singing loudly “Do you wanna build a snowman?” Her expletives cannot be printed but, in my defence, it probably was the 36 degree heat and I may have been suffering from mild sunstroke (or too many G & T’s !!!)

My only miserable moment came when BFF was merrily chatting and texting her boyfriend, her mum, her daughter, her son… and I would sit there like Billy No Mates! I texted eldest son a few times who responded with details of his job, his love life, the weather and usual chit chat, but my youngest?? “Don’t text it costs too much” closely followed by “Will you be buying me anything?” One sad day I just wanted to chat and tried to call him “Are you insane!!! Have you any idea how much it will cost to call?” Now this wouldn’t be a problem except that EH still controls and pays for my phone so it really isn’t anything to do with my son; but because he lives with his dad he comes out with all sorts of crap! He told me he thinks some terms of our divorce were unfair (for his dad!). I told him that the terms of our divorce are between his father and I but that doesn’t stop him sticking his oar in – likewise with my damn phone!

bill-41817_640Anyway on my return I contact EH to say I hope my phone bill wasn’t too excessive and that I tried to use wi-fi whenever I could. However wi-fi in Egypt is pretty elusive. He didn’t respond 🙁  I then sent another message asking to have control back of my phone, my contract and my bill. Still no response – which is infuriating. I think he still secretly likes that control. I know he can check who I contact. When we first split up he knew so much about who I was seeing I thought he was stalking me! At least when I go away again I won’t have that hanging over my head again – assuming EH answers my messages.

BPG and I used to be neighbours and still meet up regularly. We were both helping out on Polling Day – me because I was in my professional volunteering capacity and BPG because she is one of the most kind hearted people I know. As a thank you for our efforts we were invited to a champagne reception on the Saturday after the election. Two glasses of champagne on an empty stomach later, BPG and I go off for a leisurely long lunch (with more wine). At 4pm we decide to go to the cinema so I nip home first to walk my dog (and clear my head) and BPG goes home and falls asleep! We did make it to the cinema and how we both managed to stay awake was a minor miracle. But it was Spooks and it is quite loud and fast paced so that helped.

Screen Shot 2015-05-16 at 10.59.04When we came out into the fading light there was a car trying to park with a personalised plate which we instantly recognised as belonging to friends of my EH and I. A couple we used to hang out with regularly who now socialise with EH and Fluff all the time. I ask BPG how many are in the car – convinced it could be an awkward encounter. It was actually farcical – I was wearing bright pink, BPG has a custard yellow car and we both have sunglasses on in the gloom!! I dart behind a Waitrose van while she tries to get closer to their car to see if EH and Fluff are in there. But no, just two of them get out of the car. As I creep out from behind my hiding place I can see I’ve been spotted – AWKWARD! I say a clumsy hello and BPG and I race back to her car in fits of giggles like naughty children. It was fun!

And the Gorgeous Man? I’ve seen him a couple more times. Yes, I still get goosebumps and butterflies but he does have a girlfriend. So I think my lightning strike may end up only causing me pain!