Lady of leisure…..not me!

Lady of LeisureIt has been all go this last week and the next one doesn’t look any calmer. Did someone say that when your kids leave home you can take it easy, learn to play golf, have endless lunches with girlfriends (I did manage to fit in one of those last week) and not be on clock watch all day as you are when you have young kids. Apparently there is also the added pleasure that you won’t have to worry about your kids anymore as they can stand on their own two feet and you can become a ‘Lady of Leisure’. Well whoever said all of this was Wrong (with a capital ‘W’).

The definition of a lady of leisure is:

  1. A lady who is of independent means and so does not need employment; one who is free from duties and responsibilities.
  2. (ironic) An unemployed female or one who has retired from work.
  3. (euphemistic) A prostitute.

I would like to say categorically I am neither number 1 or 2 and quite frankly have absolutely no time for sex, paid or otherwise!

My week went something like this: some white van man drove into the back of me when I was stationary at a junction and then tried to blame me; my youngest son who is backpacking in South America, got sick and I had 48 hours of anxiety; my MEM (mad elderly mother) threw her footstool in the dustbin and for the second time in a month we had to run around the village to find the dustbin men and try and retrieve it back – the firstLady of leisure time was when she threw her sheets in the dustbin thinking it was the washing machine! We have decorators in and so the downstairs of my house is stacked up under dustsheets and my OH has been inviting people to visit when I cannot even find a chair for them to sit on and everything is covered in a fine layer of dust!

I seem to be doing the laundry for more people than ever as one daughter is living on friends’ sofas in London whilst the other daughter has been working so hard that I had to step in to help her out, and then there is MEM who clearly has a new laundry system of, wear, discard and buy new again or in her case instruct daughter to go buy replacements so now I am doing her laundry as well in an effort to cut down on chasing the dustbin cart around the village.

I seem to get up at the same time as when I had a school run to do, none of the lying in bed, watching breakfast TV and drinking an early morning cup of tea which I had dreamed would be my new life. The dogs still need walking, my OH still needs looking after, my house still needs cleaning, my garden grows the same amount of weeds, and I have to spend longer trying to keep fit and healthy, more hours primping, preening and plucking! Gone are the days of shower, tie your hair up, throw on some jeans and greet the world because that would send everyone running for cover and my OH into the arms of a mistress!