This article was written for Annabel & Grace, which is now part of Rest Less.
So, whilst in blustery Scotland, I am contacted by Charles via a dating website. We quickly escalate from emails and texting to chatting on the phone. I much prefer this anyway as you can get a clearer idea about someone – gauge their humour, the way they talk, laugh etc – and we laugh easily – it’s nice. I have been in email/text communication with others who are less keen to talk, where eventually it all just peters out and fizzles to nothing. These days, in my more pro-active stage, I am all for getting to know people and meeting them, rather than this long drawn out pen pal situation!
Anyway Charles and I agree to meet, I send him a selfie – God I am so out there and cool these days (not!!!) and he flatters me and all is well with the world. However all this joie de vivre quickly evaporates when he tells me he has met someone else and promptly cancels our date! Completely irrationally I burst into tears – with hindsight probably a combination of tiredness and only the very slightest of hangovers as I have been especially good. I phone BFF wailing that I cannot believe I am so upset that I am not meeting someone that I don’t know… it seems ridiculous.
Charles and I clearly have very different approaches to this dating malarchy as, in my bid to be pro-active, I have arranged about half a dozen meetings. When I discuss this with Elder Son as we wait in the pub for lunch – he declares (a bit too loudly) “Mother! You are a slut!!” However to me it is a way of keeping my options open and, if I have agreed to meet someone, I will at least see it through.
So, I meet up with a cycle enthusiast who despite proclaiming he doesn’t have any immediate plans for romantic attachment, takes my hand as we go for a walk which endears me to him. Then an older guy who is gentle, warm and interesting. Followed by a sexy firefighter who, despite being good company, I feel may be a player. Then, I have my first nightmare date. I meet a guy to go to the pictures and he come straight up and tries to kiss me – as in really kiss me – I playfully push him off rather than punching him which is what I feel like! Then as I go to collect the tickets (that I booked and paid for) he snuggles in for a cuddle. Aaaaarggh get OFF me! Then as we queue for popcorn (which again I pay for) he stands behind me touching my bottom! I am already in a bad mood but hang on in there as I want to see the film. Not the best evening.
The following evening I am set to meet Charles who has had a change of heart. He has already been told about the previous evening’s disaster – which he finds hilarious. What is even more hilarious is that we share a joint passion for yoga and he suggests that maybe we can do this together on our date? I am floored by this suggestion and ask if he just wants to assess me in lycra?
We meet in a stunning country pub and he is already there sitting next to his yoga mat! He is absolutely gorgeous – drop dead gorgeous – and I find myself grinning like a Cheshire cat. We have a couple of drinks and then he asks if I want to see his room. I do and we assess the space/and or likelihood of any yoga taking place! He asks if he needs permission to approach me and without divulging too much information dear readers there is a lot of bending and stretching that takes place but without any yoga or lycra! We do not make dinner and instead order room service. lt feels remarkably liberating I have to say. I have not done anything like this before EVER! A tiny bit of my brain is screaming that I am an utter floosie but we are two consenting adults and basically a stunningly drop dead gorgeous man wants to have sex with me. Bring it on!!!! We have breakfast together before going our separate ways and I am under no illusions as to where this may go or if I will see him again, but I had a wonderful night.
Charles is charming company but has told me he has started seeing this other lady (who I feel no guilt about – he’s only met her twice for goodness sake). However, later that day he calls to say he would like to see me again. He drives to me, I make supper and yes – damn! I sleep with him again! This is so totally out of character for me but I certainly have a spring in my step and a smile on my face. He may be leading me on (he is certainly leading me astray) but I am happier than I have been in a very long while.