Piling on the pounds

Just wish I meant sterling rather than avoirdupois. What I can’t understand is my mindset just doesn’t seem to be programmed to eat well at the moment. Was discussing this subject with a good friend over lunch (which was healthy nigiri Japanese followed swiftly by a huge slab of Dairy Milk) and we couldn’t figure out why we have been eating so much lately. It is as if, to coin a phrase of my mother’s, we are cutting off our noses to spite our faces. Or in our case, stuffing naughties into our mouths to spite our bodies.

Piling on the pounds Grace at CountryWives

A couple of times a week I hop (well, gingerly step) onto my bathroom scales. I try to wear as little as possible on these occasions – just a bra and pants usually. I stand there, toes hanging off the edge of the scales (I like to think this deducts a few ounces from the reading) and gawp at the dial. Almost always this is a depressing experience so, with a deep sigh, I remove my underwear and tiny stud earrings to make myself lighter. As I stand there shivering on the scales, my unharnessed bosoms wobbling like strawberry jellies, my weight has usually increased. How that happens I have no idea – must be a quirky feature that the manufacturers incorporate just for a laugh.

So, faced with the undeniable fact that I am 10lbs over my target weight, I suck in my stomach and pull my shoulders back (improved posture makes you look as if you have lost half a stone apparently) and mull over how I’m going to lose the remaining 3lbs. I plan to eat chicken soup all week because that’s only 150 calories a bowl. What’s a week of constant chicken soup if it means I am going to be able to get into every single thing in my wardrobe again by the weekend? It’s a small sacrifice. OK. Am definitely going to do this. Nothing will stop me.

It’s 6pm. I am gasping for a glass of Sauvignon. “No” Grace, I reprimand myself “that’s like drinking a glass of sugar”. “Well, that’s fine because I’m only having chicken soup tonight”. “What about that Pecan & Maple Danish you gobbled up at the BP petrol station this morning?” “Well, that’s OK, I’m only having chicken soup tonight.” “Have you forgotten about the Dairy Milk already?”. “Oh God. OK, I won’t add any noodles to the damned chicken soup.” “Oh Grace, don’t you want to reduce that muffin top?”. “Oh, for goodness sake. Bugger off and leave me alone. You’ve made me so miserable now I’m going to have another glass of wine and wear my smock tomorrow.”

Piling on the pounds Grace at CountryWives

Here’s another post by Grace:

The quicker time flies, the longer it takes

7 Comments

  1. Grace, I love you! You are so honest, humorous and generous in your posts. Can’t wait to read what you are up to each week.

    • Hi Brooke. You are too kind (but I like you!). Thanks so much for getting in touch – it’s really appreciated. Best wishes, Grace

  2. Loved Grace’s 4 minute make up routine this morning as I lie in bed!
    Where I can I get the list of products Grace used please?
    Please keep going with your weekly newsletter. I love it.
    I was 66 last Monday… I survived!!
    Di

  3. Hi Grace,
    I feel I know you as a friend. You are wonderfully frank in your talk about your granny pants (I wear them too – so comfy) and your bossom size (big-me too, again) So I thought I should give you a word of comfort in your battle with the pleasure of eating. Go easy on yourself, I say! I’m a chubby 71-yr old now and not worried about it. I enjoy my food and these days there are wonderfully styled fashions, as you well know, for curvy women. I love to cook and my husband and I take huge pleasure in eating out. Life is short. No time for beating yourself up. I’m sure your husband loves you muffin top and all so ease up and savour the flavour of every bite you put in your mouth.

    Thanks for your magazine. It’s great!
    Marjorie

    • Hi Majorie. Thank you so much for contacting us, we really love hearing our readers’ opinions. Of course, you are absolutely right. Life is too short and, in truth, all I really care about is having good health so I can carry on enjoying everything that life has to offer. Delighted you are having a wonderful time too. Best wishes, Grace

  4. Bless you! You look lovely whatever weight you are Grace….and your fabulous personality outweighs anything that those scales might tell you! After all, it’s not as if you wear a sign round your neck telling people how much you weigh, so I suggest that you ditch those scales and pour yourself a large glass of Sauvignon!!

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