SASSY continues to live in hope that her life will get back on track

images (1)So the birthday party for my 18 year old son was great – my friend and I bust some moves to show these young ‘uns how it’s done !! Unfortunately she also bustimages (2) out of her dress in a most inappropriate place and had to wear EH’s (ex-husband) jacket for the rest of the evening! We arrived early for ‘pre-drinks’ and to decorate the venue which was really nice. Oldies toasted the night in bubbles and youngsters with Jagermeister!!! All in all in a total bar bill of £4700, £1000 of it was on Jagermeister – Ouch!!!!

I fell in to bed with the most outrageous hangover at 3am and up at 9am to go to Ascot. It took me soooooo long to get ready, I think I brushed my teeth for 10 minutes and it took about half an hour to make the bed – I kept lying back on it and finally it took about 5 minutes to get balance on my heels.

I went with friend who has recently become single – see last blog – and was met at her door with a glass of champagne, I declined and asked for coffee and water! But after a sumptuous breakfast and yes, I did have a glass of champagne, we left. I had a truly brilliant day, both of us had wins and the sun shone – I was so glad I went . At 9 am when the alarm went off I had thought I wanted to die or, at the very least, spend my day under the duvet but I am glad I didn’t!

Bar and dancing after a super day racing and she (my friend) pulls a gorgeous man – to be fair she could have taken her pick as they were like moths around a flame. I felt like a wall flower, it’s like I have lost the knack of flirtation – or the will to do so. As a married woman I was the worlds biggest flirt and successful! Anyway good for her and I hope it works or at least gives her a momentary boost of confidence.

BFF has gone away for 2 weeks and I already miss her dreadfully – I always seem to fall into the blues when she’s away.

Driving back the morning after Ascot I felt glum – can’t flirt anymore – still desperate to move house and just to move on with my life which is different from my recently single friend whose childrendownload (1) have flown the nest and, yes, envious that after 3 months she is starting a new chapter – it’s like all my pages are glued together and I will never get to the end of my story, to my happy ending. I just seem to keep re-reading the same old page “she was still in love with her husband and hated the emptiness of her life and all the loss of the things as they were….”

However I am finally getting answers from EH and we have agreed figures and he is getting his act together. Having spent time together at a couple of school events I can probably avoid him for a longish time. I am still hopeful that I can take the boys away with me this summer and I am still hopeful of buying my own home as I have seen one I love . I am also still hopeful that I will have a job in a months time and just that really – hopeful! To continue my songs from the car – I heard ‘Que Sera Sera’ this morning – bless Doris as it sums up my life at the present! That and hopeful!!

Read more of SASSY’s July tomorrow….