Things continue to tick over and life is returning to a normal rhythm .
Not dancing as much as I would like as, having moved , it is further to go and work is so busy that by a Friday night I want to put my feet up with a glass of something chilled! However I have also joined another group ‘Spice ‘ and been to a couple of events and think this may be the new way forward !
I have been to the cinema and on a dinner evening and met lots of interesting people from all walks of life – all single for all different reasons and it was comforting to know there are a lot of people on their own, but that is now my choice to get out there and meet them. My social life needs a pick me up and having friends over which generally meant other couples for dinner and barbecues, is not my life at present.
However saying that, I did do a dinner party recently for some of my girly friends who have been so supportive. It was my way of saying thank you and it made a real change to make a wonderful meal from scratch and enjoy it with friends rather than something quick and simple or from a packet, balanced on my knee in front of the TV!!
I have also joined a walking group – I will never be a rambler and go on long 15 milers but have done a couple of 7 mile walks and I get to take the dog and walk and talk and have a laugh!
I still have days when the sky seems forever grey and I still mourn for the loss of the life I had, I think that is going to take longer than I had thought to get past. EH (ex-husband) continues his relationship with Fluff which I continue to find hard – he has so easily moved on, but I guess with the split being his choice, in his head our marriage was over long before it became apparent to me. I wonder and hope that we continue to try and create a healthy environment for our children. It is our eldest’s 18th birthday in a week or so and we are trying to liaise re gifts and celebrations hoping to make it still just as special.
I do still dip in and out of dating web sites but not obsessively – I’m not sure if it’s for me but there are a couple of nice men I’m in email contact with – we’ll see how it goes. If I’m honest I am not sure what I want right now. I know I miss companionship, cuddles, and someone to share life with but I think that my heart and head are still raw and traumatised by the last few months. I am still faintly glowing with anticipation but that journey may be longer and slower than I had hoped for, but you can’t brush 20 years under the carpet (unless you’re a man)!