SASSY’s search for a single man

December 2, 2012

This article was written for Annabel & Grace, which is now part of Rest Less.

So where were we at the end of the last post? Quick summary, Executive Husband is no longer in love with me after 20 years of marriage, I have moved out of family home and see my 2 children regularly but not often enough. I have picked myself up, dusted myself off and climbed Kilimanjaro however I am missing Man Hugs and so I have signed up to an internet dating site….

Embarrassingly I have to admit that I regularly see a nice man walking his retriever, whilst I walk my dog, and I am sorely tempted to pin him to a tree and yell “JUST HUG ME”. So, have I had any luck with the internet? No! It all seems such a waste of time but I still keep dipping back. I’ve paid a subscription fee and I guess I want my moneys worth.

First date – looked nice enough, sounded ok, profile said he did something to do with trains (this should have set alarm bells ringing) however as my BFF (best female friend) pointed out I was not about to marry him, it was just a date. I sat down the road from our pre-arranged meeting point, on a bench, waiting for him to arrive. There is not a fine line between smart casual or scruffy however I am sure you can guess how he was dressed. OMG he was so boring! As most of my friends can testify, and you can tell by my ramblings, I am not short of a few words but this time I could not get a word in edgeways. Also I could not understand most of what he was telling me but the word ‘EX’ was used quite extensively. I met him at 8.30 pm for drinks which meant I was home in time for News at Ten! Being polite I said thank you for a nice evening and he replied “the first of many”. I do not think so!!

After gazing upon face after face of sad souls I found Tom. Tom looked fairly presentable and lived about an hour away. We exchanged emails and talked on the phone; he was well- spoken and articulate and never mentioned trains! However after a few chats he shyly asked for a full-length photo as he wanted to see how “curvy” I was. He then admitted he liked more “busty” ladies! We arranged to meet and, as we had spoken a fair bit, I thought I’d make an effort! He liked “busty”? I invested in a push up bra to hoist up what I have to their full potential! I decided jeans and a “top” would be best, as we had arranged to go for a walk in Windsor before lunch. I then went shopping for a top to show off my newly enhanced and hoisted ‘va va voom’ cleavage. How difficult can it be to buy a tarty top when you can see tarty people on every street corner… where do they shop? I phoned BFF but apparently they do not shop in Monsoon East or Jaegar!! I eventually found a little black top, which with jeans and boots, looked pretty ok. I even went for a blow dry on the morning of the date but whilst at the hairdresser he cancelled! I am trying not to judge all men as idiots although that is hard. At least some on the site are honest about what they want…. SEX! Although BFF advises they actually all want SEX ultimately!

One guy sent a very rude message and I told him, not so politely, to sod off! However he was very persistent and cheeky and extremely persuasive! He convinced me that if we met it didn’t have to lead to sex – we did meet – we didn’t have sex and have met several times since. He is utterly adorable, intelligent, funny and charming and has turned up with a takeaway and a bottle of wine on my lonelier nights. No, he is not married but it will not be more than a great friendship as that certain something just isn’t there, although I wish it was!

So where are we now? 2012 has been a shite year really and one I want to put behind me. I forgot to add that 3 days after coming back from my mountain high and 2 days after my world imploded I started a full time job. Well it started part time and grew and grew and grew until I left in September because the stresses and strains of my personal life combined with the requirements of my job were just too much and I came close to buckling under the pressure. Yes, it would have been wise to line up a new job before leaving the old one but sometimes a woman has to do what a woman has to do!

I made lots of friends on my hike up Kilimanjaro and one in particular! She is feisty and fun and grabs life with both hands. She told me back in May she was planning another trip. (This is the girl who since Kilimanjaro has also done Everest.) I was intrigued – India, Thailand, Cambodia and Vietnam all in 6 weeks! There was still some of my mother’s money left so I am off! This time I have the blessing of EH, and both my children are excited for me; they know their mum is a nutter who sometimes needs to just break free!!!

So as I break free where will this new solo journey take me?  Find out next Sunday!

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