Miranda’s always ready to say Hello

Time for another one of Miranda’s stories to read online. We hope you enjoy it. Plenty more from Miranda’s wry pen can be found here.

I have been known to recognise people but not exactly know where from. My brain takes a little time to catch up; meanwhile I have waved and called out “Hello” to a luckless individual.

Once I saw somebody I knew in Walton Street. This woman was on the other side of the very narrow road. Both of us were crossing, dodging cars to embrace each other when a light bulb went off in
my head. I absolutely hated this lady – she was an ex-girlfriend of my father’s! She must have had the same revelation as me. We had almost met in the middle of the road and I was close enough to
smack her as opposed to kiss her. So, at exactly the same time, we silently turned and walked smartly back to our sides of the street, looking remarkably embarrassed by the near miss of a potential

Miranda's always ready to say Hello

Then once I was in my car, with the youngest unmarried, driving towards the Kings Road when I spotted a man I knew. I bibbed my horn and opened the window and waved enthusiastically until my son said, “Do you know who that man is?” I replied that I knew I knew him but wasn’t completely sure I could muster up a name.

The son rolled his eyes and said, “Mummy, it’s Jeremy Clarkson. You don’t know him at all.” Meanwhile Jeremy had been stuck to his spot ready for anything to happen. We were nearly upon him in our
car so l just shouted, “Hello, Jeremy Clarkson,” and drove off, even though I quite wanted to park nearby.

My son looked totally horrified that his mother was helloing anyone and everyone whilst he was sitting in the same car. I just have to start saying, “Oh, I know that person, it’s …” when the second
unmarried interrupts, “No you don’t and no it isn’t! I know exactly who you think it is and you couldn’t be more wrong.”

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