Louloulapomme: The only way is Essex

I rarely wonder at the guests we have to stay in our small, but perfectly formed, B&B as most of them are absolutely delightful. However, one couple who have just left were interesting. Our longest booking ever, they were a couple from Essex who I swear thought they were booking a holiday cottage.

THE ONLY WAY IS ESSEXThey arrived for their twelve day stay and immediately asked for a cup of tea. I politely pointed out the tea making facilities in the sitting room beside their bedroom. Tea, coffee and milk are all supplied free of charge and, together with a fridge and microwave, also supplied exclusively for their use is, I think, beyond the facilities usually provided by a B&B.  “You got English tea? We don’t like that French stuff.”  Of course I assured them it was good old builders Yorkshire tea which we buy in bulk whenever we return to the UK, secretly regretting it would eat into our much coveted supplies.

the only way is essexIt was about then I started wondering why they had booked a holiday in France. “Can you recommend somewhere that does nice steak and chips, cos we don’t like mucked about food?”  We also recommended various wonderful local sights for them to visit. “Nah, don’t like caves/museums/heights/French people/children/canoeing/water/ touring. All we wanna do is lie by the pool and go ‘ome brown enough so our neighbours can see we’ve paid for an ‘oliday.”

The night before they left, he came down with a carton to open, not sure what the French instructions meant. “Push up bottom” I translated. I will never know if he followed that particular piece of advice.

Screen Shot 2014-07-23 at 17.13.55Bookings are relatively quiet this year and I have come to the conclusion that I cannot be satisfied! Last year after July and August we vowed we would wind down the business, as we were so exhausted by our own success. This year, all has gone quiet and I wonder if it is as a result of one of these new fandangled direct booking websites that always seem to pop up on the top of the list with Google. We don’t subscribe to it and I don’t want to, as I prefer a much more personal service with our guests. Screen Shot 2014-07-23 at 17.12.24

We cook superb evening meals with regional French menus, served with the all important local wines.

All the details of where we are and room rates are on the site. Note our excellent Tripadvisor reviews!